I couldn't remember the last time I had felt truly happy, when somebody or something caused me to laugh so hard 'til my stomach pained and my jaw ached. I miss going to bed at night with absolutely nothing on my mind; I missed enjoying eating food of it becoming something I had to endure in order to stay alive, I hated feeling that I had no reason to wake up. I missed enjoying watching my favourite television programmes instead of it being something I would stare blankly at to pass the hours. I hated the feeling of having no excitement to look forward to. I hated counting down the days, and I hated to think of what my life might be without a spark of enthusiasm.Memories were fine but I couldn't touch, smell or even hold them. They were never exactly as the moment was, and they faded with time.
